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Drafting May 2018

stream of conciousness fades into oblivion

interfaces of some awarenss,

lingering, liquid dejas vu…..

didn’t I start writing a diary so many years ago…

a cream-bun faced and oh, oh not so innocent boy ?

a retrospective tapestry

confused stitches

badly woven threads ..

and fragile fragments

I’m an artist honey

spinner of sensuality

speller of spells

maker of moods

weaver of dreams

flash fable fabricator

digitiser of desires

and masturbation mantras

read here and weep:

the tragedy of loves lost

of loves squandered

surrendered silences

betrayed integrities

precosious promises

dissembling desires

unrequited emotions…

sagas of sexual survivals …

rag tag of fractured feelings

deconstructed artifices of actional inactions

unstructured, uncontrolled, untamed, a ravening animal

scenting the invisibly sprayed spoored trails of prey..

nothing changes but change

nothing is but what is not

contradiction is truth

paradox informs

and the whole edifice spins

whirling on vortices of veracity and verisimilitude

a centre point transfixed by unremitting paralysis

pushing, penetrating,

piercing deeper, than deeply

to touch the core triggering the soul’s

laserd glowing incandescance

oxygen’s free radical destruction, dismantling life’s force

destructive by-product of creative catalystic coincidence

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><<><><>

NO 2

free radical echoes

Music ;

I want to take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar : Electric 6

( don’t you like it rough?)

free form radical

stream of conciousness fades into oblivion

interfaces of some awarenss,

lingering, liquid dejas vu…..

didn’t I start writing a diary so many years ago…

a cream-bun faced and oh, oh so innocent boy ?

a retrospective tapestry

confused stitches

badly woven threads ..

and fragile fragments

I’m an artist honey

spinner of sensuality

speller of spells

maker of moods

weaver of dreams

flash fable fabricator

digitiser of desires

and masturbation mantras

read here and weep:

the tragedy of loves lost

of loves squandered

surrendered silences

betrayed integrities

precosious promises

dissembling desires

unrequited emotions…

survivals of sexual sagas …

rag tag of fractured feelings

deconstructed artifices of actional inactions

unstructured, uncontrolled, untamed, a ravening animal

scenting the invisibly sprayed spoored trails of prey..

nothing changes but change

nothing is but what is not

contradiction is truth

paradox informs

and the whole edifice spins

whirling on vortices of veracity and verisimilitude

a centre point transfixed by unremitting paralysis

pushing, penetrating,

piercing deeper, than deeply

to touch the core triggering the soul’s

lasered glowing incandescance

oxygen’s free radical destruction, dismantling life’s force

destructive by-product of creative catalystic coincidence

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><<><><>

~ I really want to say

in the club,

you fucked me under the stairs

and made my body soar ;

in the car,

you loved me under the stars

and made my spirit sing;

when you smiled me your morning eyes

I was yours then

~ bound

unconditionally,

universally

eternally ~

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><<><><>

Free radicals are atoms or groups of atoms with an odd (unpaired) number of electrons and can be formed when oxygen interacts with certain molecules. Once formed these highly reactive radicals can start a chain reaction, like dominoes. Their chief danger comes from the damage they can do when they react with important cellular components such as DNA, or the cell membrane. Cells may function poorly or die if this occurs. To prevent free radical damage the body has a defense system of antioxidants.

oxygen the source, becomes the ultimate, ironic, paradox … the trigger,  for the demise of life

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><<><><>

Posted on

Twiteratti Glitteratti

Twiteratti Glittteratti

(Original post 28th March 2011 )

Bringing all this stuff together to create the mini celeb persona … Twitter/twitpic/gaypic/blog/facebook .. you can see how the real celebs get caught out by the new social media networking.

Who sees what and when and how compromising…. etc

Fortunately for me the chains are off for me … free of professional misconduct traps … how fine they are .. so any ANYONE (he shouts) anyone who has passed the opening statement about 18+ content … you have only your self to blame ..

because here I am uncompromising in being what I have never been allowed to be through out my life … so the anecdote :

When I was 13/14 years old being gay was a criminal offence pleasuring myself … or my friends  {or, being pleasured } was definitely a criminal offence .. especially in public. SO as a consequence I spent my adolescence in parks and gardens and alleyways … or the cabins of Norwegian/Swedish boats in the port of Bristol.

Now I am …. older … smoking is an offence so I end up in doorways and alleyways and parks and gardens ..

I think that’s called irony …………….

Posted on

24th March 2011 …

I seem to be going away and coming back all the time. Time is the operative word really, that and being organised. But now I am a free agent maybe I can make a better shot and running this blog regularly ..
if you have the time to look back you will see a chronology of recordings and they pretty much reflect who I am, what I am and where I have come from.
the same old rules apply it will be chaotic and random but the more I think about it a blog is more about yourself and should pay little attention to somebody else’s prescribed perception of what a blog should be .

Certainly it is not , in my mind, a ” got-out-of-bed-and-cleaned-my-teeth” diary.

Posted on

SUNDAY, 18 JULY 2010

I have become increasingly alarmed at how companies like Google and FaceBook are sucking up all the areas of the social interactive internet into one vast interconnected totalitarian structure.

Yes I know its driven by the obsessions of the owners to make even more vast amounts of money.

It worries me that every where I turn to places and sites on the Internet they intervene and it’s done with an open-faced niceness that belies their hidden agenda ..

OOOOH would you like to link to YouTube/ Twitter / Spotify etc etc …. ?

You do it . Then you find that you have inherited their policy and philosophy and nanny-minding, politically correct, health and safety limitations …

For this reason, I can no longer access, edit or upload to my YouTube Account … which YouTube robotic email replies say I have access to and that is not suspended but I should talk to Google.

I don’t talk to Google, you can not TALK to Google !

However I range around a load of FAQ’s and links which end with the above image saying that the account is “Permanently Disabled” …

… by linking my Mac Mail account to my Google account without my permission, they have prevented even me from setting up a new YouTube Account …

In effect, they have chained my Google to Mac Mail so, I cannot even set up a new YouTube Account.

All of this without the decency of getting in touch…. How bloody high handed is that?

OK !! I don’t really care but I am concerned that in the future, it wont just be a video up loading and sharing site ,

… it will be my, life my politics .. persish the thought, some happy-clappy mumbo-jumbo right wing christian-inanity…. and they think the Taliban are bad …. at least you know where you stand with them …..

During this blog it informed me that the image I wished to up load could reside on line at PISCA …..

So I thought, nice idea, and I followed the links

THEN, up popped Google again with its TOC …… you can guess ……

I declined.

If anyone knows a decently set blog that is out of the reaches of the sprawling tentacle clutches of the Google octopus …… please get in touch

 

Written :  SUNDAY, 18 JULY 2010

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Web Spun

black widow of the web

suspended tone in an unresolved cadence
cast in a cross rythmn of syncopation
ones and zeros, zeroes and ones
dropped into the ether suspended from a thread

webbed sticky

it ensnared my mind

twisting and turning

further enmeshed by its sticky contaminating confusion
warping to distortion

the reality of a

stunning
killing
silence

what I knew, I discovered, I did not know,
what I did not know, I discovered, I did know;
and what I discovered I knew was cruelly drained

by the black

widow of the web

Posted on

Endor from digital_deviance3

I exist Gay Male – “Piscean” weaver of dreams. sequencer of symphonic sound. web spinner. mayhem master. facilitator of flash fables. monkey spanker. all-purpose-cyber-persona. good-time-boy and ageing tartlet.This is now the third and final resting place for me having migrated from fuse.easyjournal.com which seems to have vanished into the oblivion of the internet ether via digital-deviance2 which is too closely in the Google control mesh for my liking.

Hopefully here I can write and post with some freedom and within an aesthetically pleasing page and the theme is a retro look at the computer that started it all and a tribute to the man who made the modern technology and experience a beautiful thing.

This will be the repository for all the video and writing work I will undertake. As yet I have to undertake the category setting process that should order all my blogs into a searchable data bank but since such a task is reminiscent of work I am hanging back. some guidance:

• Not all entries are written in perfect English: some are drafting dribbles from my mind, others are textual re-workings especially of poems ..which are often presented with out capital letters with idiosyncratic punctuation mainly for effect, but also, to try to control the tempo of the reading.

• I will try to categorize all the videos first. Mostly they are linked to YouTube and you can access my page there at fuse2uk, however, you can watch them full-screen by clicking on the icon at the right hand end of the video progress bar.

• The blog has become the equivalent of my sketchbook so photo images / graphics of mine and of significant interest from the internet will also appear often without notes or comments.

• If you are interested in the appearance of this blog take this link where all is explained http://en.blog.wordpress.com/2011/10/07/hero/

 

where I live …..

http://fusr2.wordpress.com